I'm so done with this

"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion) 11/05/2018 at 18:31 • Filed to: None

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Never have I had such a hard time hiring people. I’m o ffering good pay— for a job requiring zero experience — bonuses, benefits, flexible schedules... And I’m getting nowhere. The few applicants I’ve had can’t even follow simple contact instructions.

This is an easy job. 2-6 hours a day (depending on what the employee wants) working inside on simple tasks, and gassing up vehicles. It’s an evening job, so it should be a great fit for college students or those who work full-time and want some extra cash for the holidays.

My ideal candidate? The type of person who’s deeply annoyed by untidy s paces. Someone who finds pleasure in organizing. Someone who has a great eye for detail. Someone who can follow simple directions, like “send an email with why you think you’d be a good fit for the company”. Someone with some basic fuckin’ reading comprehension, you know?

The responses I’m getting?

Texts saying something like “hi. i gud looking for job you5hire? Still xall me ”.

Last night I asked someone from Tinder if she wanted a new job. That’s where I’m at right now.

So... A nybody want to work a few hours every evening ?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:34

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jasmits > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:35

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Looking for someone with reliable transportation on oppo seems like a flawed plan

For Sweden > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:36

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Do I get a company Miata?

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:37

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Do you need 10-22 years of experience, a bachelor’s or doctor’s degree preferred for this entry-level job? If so, then count me out.   

Chuckles > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:41

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If you can pay mileage for my daily work commute from Pennsylvania, I'm in.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:42

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do you have a clean driving record... yes

reliable transportation..... nope.... even my bike is a break down waiting to happen

pass a background check...... probably not...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:48

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Do I have to get on a ladder?

Brickman > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:48

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Im qualified! Now I want $55 an hour. I have to drive to get there you know.

Pl us my engine burns oil, so I need to fill up the oil pan every 1,500 miles... oh that means I don’t have a reliable vehicle :P

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/05/2018 at 18:48

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Nope

AestheticsInMotion > Chuckles 11/05/2018 at 18:49

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Deal. I'll see you tomorrow at 5pm PST

AestheticsInMotion > For Sweden 11/05/2018 at 18:49

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After 90 days. I wasn't born yesterday 

AestheticsInMotion > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 11/05/2018 at 18:49

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Doctorate required. 

Chuckles > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:50

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I guess I should have left about a day and a half ago. I might be a little late. 

wafflesnfalafel > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:54

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labor market is really too tight here... and high cost of living forces folks out as well....

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 11/05/2018 at 18:55

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Puppy !  I pay you!

gettingoldercarguy > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:55

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Labor market of this?

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:56

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Welcome to hiring in the “full employment” economy. Vermont has been here for several years and the last season I worked for a boss that wasn’t me for a company that wasn’t my farm, we were hiring people with pulses who could read a Craig’s list add well enough to find our address. I mean, li terally, actually those were our only requirements. (I tried to get management to start hiring for Holiday Rush in September... they didn’t even post the ad ‘till 2nd week of November. W e took what we got.)

gettingoldercarguy > jasmits 11/05/2018 at 18:57

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Quadradeuce > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 18:59

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Good luck. I gave up on hiring a warehouse helper at $15/he after going through 3 of them. Super easy job. Each shift: s weep floors, tidy up workspace, make a couple of pallets, help load pallets with product. Always work with someone else. Schedule was flexible.  Perfect for a stay at home parent, college student, etc.  Ugh.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:03

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I'm in. Its going to be about $400 on fuel one way though. 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:05

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The number one problem I hear from other store managers in my company is that they can’t keep their stores staffed. I’ve been pretty lucky in terms of staff. Most of my employees aren’t the most motivated, or hard working but they are at least reliable, like they show up, which is nice. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:08

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Compared to the office drone I’m in at the moment this sounds like a vacation.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:09

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Well fuck this then

AestheticsInMotion > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 11/05/2018 at 19:09

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It's a double-whammy, because in this economy I could probably find a higher-paying, less-stressful job fairly easily for the same reasons I can't find an assistant right now noe

AestheticsInMotion > wafflesnfalafel 11/05/2018 at 19:11

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No kidding. I always went after h igh-school and college students in the window- washing days for that reason. Doesn't seem to be working as well now. 

AestheticsInMotion > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 11/05/2018 at 19:13

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It feels that way when I do it, but I can't escape the fact that my time should be spent doing something much more productive and thinking-oeiented

Enginerrrrrrrrr > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:14

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Location?

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 11/05/2018 at 19:14

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We’re looking for people with 25+ years experience in the smartphone / iOS / Android gaming industry, with a PhD in SJW activism.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:14

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I have enough vacation saved up I could not work the entire month of December, but I might not have a job when I get back.

My X-type is too a real Jaguar > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:14

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I feel your pain my company is giving $1000 bonuses if you stay for 90 days plus 1 pay period. I know call center work sucks but damn. 

Azrek > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:16

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I haz a $4 parking ticket! I paid it in nickels!

My back is quite lumpy...I workout! So the back ground check would be very unusual. 

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:16

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Sounds like an ideal side thing. If I was 1200 miles north I’d be interested haha

AestheticsInMotion > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 11/05/2018 at 19:16

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Only one way to find out! I was just thinking that if I had more than 3 days of vacation time, I might just use it to work another job and double dip.

AestheticsInMotion > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 11/05/2018 at 19:17

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This was fitting a couple years ago. Nowadays I feel like you have a much better chance of landing jobs you don’t actually qualify for. Ask me how I know...

lone_liberal > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:17

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I feel you. We’re trying to hire more specialized employees and it’s impossible. Even when we finally find somebody they turn it down because nobody wants to live here. How can you go through multiple job interviews, get to the point where you’re offered the job and then decide you won’t move? 

AestheticsInMotion > Enginerrrrrrrrr 11/05/2018 at 19:18

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Seattle area

AestheticsInMotion > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor 11/05/2018 at 19:18

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If you fly up hear and buy a beater RV to live out of, you might be able to recoup your costs.

ADVENTURE

AestheticsInMotion > lone_liberal 11/05/2018 at 19:23

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That would be frustrating. Makes me think my time might be better spent applying for positions instead of trying to hire

Enginerrrrrrrrr > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:23

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Balls...

best of luck!

lone_liberal > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:27

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We finally filled a spot today when a guy who lives in Seattle agreed to move here and take over as our head of production. That took 10  months. Only 2 more positions to fill!!! 

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:29

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I’ll leave the RV up there and rent it on Airbnb as some new trendy thing.

Profit

Stapleface > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:29

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I'm sure that’s a good part of it. Although seeing some of the people I deal with at my part time job maybe the HS and College kids just don't want to work because they have no drive or ambition. 

AestheticsInMotion > lone_liberal 11/05/2018 at 19:31

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There you go! Easy.

Let me know when the head of Miata research position opens up

DutchieDC2R > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:32

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Yu paing for plan tiket Holland Amerika? I com now

Maxima Speed > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:35

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Do you pay relocation costs? I live in Ohio so I’ll need $ 15,000 sign on bonus for moving expenses 

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:36

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Good luck, I know an owner of a landscaping company that has a terrible time hi ring people with those limitations .

AestheticsInMotion > Stapleface 11/05/2018 at 19:40

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Fair point

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 19:52

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We've been having a hellish time finding good workers at my job. We even have a stupid high starting wage now. Incidentally, I don't have a good driving record so I couldn't work for you, or pretty much anyone else it seems 

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/05/2018 at 20:02

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Awww. In that case....

I’ll be at my new position next week, boss 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 20:05

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mmmmmm people don't like to work for me. Because I expect the bare minimum,  and seldom get it.

Discerning > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 20:12

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“send an email with why you think you’d be a good fit for the company”

This is an awful question to ask prospective employees

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Discerning 11/05/2018 at 20:15

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Eh, it’s n o different than any other application I’ve seen. Just reply: I’m reliable blah blah teamwork blah murder is a harsh word blah blah positive attitude.

Tohru > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 20:38

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hell, I wouldn’t qualify for your job either. I don’t have a clean driving record. The other two I’m good with.

AestheticsInMotion > Discerning 11/05/2018 at 20:50

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It's only to weed out the people who can't read 10 lines of text and follow a simple instruction. I could care less about the fake response they put in

MM54 > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 21:02

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Can I work remotely?

:)

Discerning > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 21:12

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Fair enough. That’s what I figured. Hopefully someone who isn’t completel y incompetent comes up.

AestheticsInMotion > MM54 11/05/2018 at 21:34

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Yes!

But not here

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 21:48

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I’d love to help you out, but at 45 hours/week my work/life equation is already out of balance.

winterlegacy, here 'till the end > AestheticsInMotion 11/05/2018 at 23:04

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Sometimes I don’t understand how people can’t make a good case for themselves.

Then I go look at all the interviews I’ve somehow managed to fail despite me feeling relatively confident about answering all of the questions in a way that makes me seem like an honest person.

AestheticsInMotion > winterlegacy, here 'till the end 11/06/2018 at 00:11

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I feel the same way.

And then remember that I got turned down for a pizza delivery job

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 11/06/2018 at 00:19

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What are you paying? Maybe even though it looks  like good pay from your perspective  it just isn’t high enough with how tight the labor market is right now?

AestheticsInMotion > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com 11/06/2018 at 00:24

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That’s true. $15/h, plus health insurance. Small bonuses that are fairly random. Entry-level job. I’d like to pay more but unfortunately my boss doesn’t value the position very highly

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 11/06/2018 at 00:47

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Gotcha. $15/hr plus benefits and bonuses seems pretty reasonable for an entry-level job, but t hings have gotten crazy recently. My 67 year old mom just got a job as part-time librarian for $14/hr in Pittsburgh. In Seattle with the cost of living things people are probably looking for, and sometimes finding, more even for entry-level stuff. Your boss may have to choose between valuing the position higher or letting it go unfilled.

pip bip - choose Corrour > AestheticsInMotion 11/06/2018 at 03:24

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if you pay my airfare over

:)

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 11/06/2018 at 08:56

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Haha - and people wonder why we have an illegal immigration problem...

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stapleface 11/06/2018 at 09:00

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...because their parents are letting them live at home, paying for everything, and not at all helping them transition into being functional adults.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Quadradeuce 11/06/2018 at 09:05

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I would’ve killed (or at least maimed) for a job like that that paid that well in HS or college. Granted, that was 20 years ago... I think I started off at the grocery store at like $5.15/hr.

Quadradeuce > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 11/06/2018 at 10:55

1

Temp agencies are paying $10/hr for similar work, just as a comparison. I didn’t get any college applicants even though there’s a 10k student college campus in my corner of the city.

If I hire this position again (probably when my last employee retires) I’m going to try to find a stay at home dad who wants to earn some decent cash while the kids are in school. We’ll see if such a person exists...

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Quadradeuce 11/06/2018 at 11:05

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I think far fewer HS/college students are required to or feel the need to get a job these days. Damn Boomers spoiling their Millennial kids! [shakes fist at clouds]

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > lone_liberal 11/07/2018 at 19:06

1

I’ve done this. It generally is one of those being unsure and “shotgunning” for interviews where you just apply everywhere and really don’t think about the implications of moving. Its not like “YOU HAVE TO MOVE” is shoved down the throat of the potential hiree. You get a lot of positive “this is what makes our company great” and stuff and from a purely wanting the job, you stay interested and keep going through the process. My assumption was partly “I will let the company decide they dont want me and then I dont have to decide to move”. Yeah that is shitty, but its probably what others were thinking too. But then I got the job and also had another job offer that didnt require moving and made me just as happy. So it made sense to decline and give the reason, I didnt want to move.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Chuckles 11/07/2018 at 19:09

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Drive faster!

StudyStudyStudy > AestheticsInMotion 11/08/2018 at 00:48

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Hmm, what would evening hours consist of? Area traffic is kind of crap, but given I don’t do much in the evening this may be more productive.

AestheticsInMotion > StudyStudyStudy 11/08/2018 at 01:40

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In the past it’s been 5-8, but it’s fairly flexible. There are a couple of tasks that just need to be done before morning. You are of course welcome to join, but I hired s omeone with an “interesting” schedule, so Tuesdays and every 3rd Wednesday & Thursday of the month a re the only open shifts at the moment.